A new year.
As we say a fond farewell to Jack O Lantern, Tom Turkey, Santa Claus and all the other icons, symbols and representatives of the year end holiday season just completed.
Yes, Jesus is the reason for that season, Mr. Helper, but, I'm taking the glass half full approach here and having faith that those with faith will continue to exercise that faith the whole year through and not put that groovy guy from Galilee away in that attic space with the Trick or Treat bags, brightly crayoned gobblers and those remarkably well wrapped bundles of lights that will, mysteriously, come out of the box this coming December unexplainedly all gnarled and globbed with little or no hope of finding the plug end without hours of frustrated searching.
Out of the box, of course, or the flat screen, as it were, the icons, symbols and representatives of our assorted and sundry bad habits.
Nutri-System, Jenny Craig, Chantix, Planet Fitness. The list, like the beat and the doctor's concern at your cholesterol numbers, goes on.
Because, obviously, if Christmas ain't Christmas without Kris Kringle up on the rooftop, click, click, click, January is a no show until Marie Osmond shows up ready to offer relief to what inflates us.
She's not only a little bit country, she's pretty much become a first month tradition.
With Ray Liotta coming up fast on the outside.
You can just call him Ray.
Both of them, and their ilk, ready, willing and corporately compensated for their assistance in our efforts to resolution our assorted and sundry bad habits out of our presents and into our pasts.
Too much weight.
Smoking.
Failing to exercise regularly if not diligently.
The top three on the charts, kats and kitties, of those bad behaviors that put the kibosh on the quality, corrode the caliber, even put a fixed number on the days, of our lives.
But just like the proverbial new kid, there's a new harmful habit in town.
And America is awash in the affliction.
Diagnosis divulged directly.
First, it's time for another episode of Gettin Down with Definitions.
Today's word: wall.
Noun: a continuous vertical brick or stone structure that encloses or divides an area of land.
Verb: to enclose an area, especially to protect it or lend it some privacy.
That's the clinical, no frills definitions of the word.
Like our friends the onion and the artichoke, though, there's a whole lot more here than meets the eye.
Acclaimed author and friend Alanna Nash recently Facebook posted an article relating the government shutdown Trump is currently using in an attempt to extort five billion dollars to build his definition of "the wall". The use of the word "extort" is mine, not Alanna's. She was voicing passionate displeasure, and understandable concern, about Trump's publicly stating that, if necessary, he would endorse the shutdown for "months, even years."
Let's skip the chapter and verse bullet point listing of who, what and what's not currently resulting from the shutdown. That information is easily available on line. And I encourage you to avail yourselves of it, because, Kellyanne Conway's gospel according to Donald aside, there really is no such thing as too much correct information or actual facts.
For our purposes here, let's sketch the thing out this way. Almost three quarters of a million people are without paychecks. And went without paychecks as the expensive holiday season peaked.
If only out of respectful human compassion, Alanna opined that Donald Trump was "completely crazy".
Yeah. What she said. You go, girl.
But, more to the point at hand, a commenter on her page had this retort locked and loaded.
"Crazy like a fox...he is applying leverage...as any good negotiator does".
To ramp up the dramatic value, if inadvertently adding comic relief, the commenter provided this punchline.
"Make no mistake. He will get the wall built."
Alanna, a skilled wordsmith, replied succinctly.
"He won't."
Here's a quick two cents on their exchange.
At the level this game is being played...and make no mistake, it's a game by every definition, what Trump is doing is not leverage. Important services aside, there are people going without paychecks.
Those paychecks are being held as ransom.
Where there is ransom there is extortion.
The dollar store word for extortion...is blackmail.
And a President of the United States, legally and constitutionally sworn to preserve, protect and defend the nation while, if only in theory, morally sworn to protect and defend all of the citizens of the nation, is essentially holding the well being of three quarters of a million citizens hostage.
Stretch limos, marble columns and Marine Bands ironically, even now insultingly, playing Hail To The Chief notwithstanding, what's going on here is no different than someone stealing one of your kids from their school bus stop and threatening their safety unless you fork over big bucks.
Just so it gets said, yet again, one more unneeded piece of evidence of how staggeringly unqualified this spoiled brat doorknob of a real estate hustler con man is for the office that he lost by three million votes. 25% of that number, by the way, the number of people currently without a way to pay their bills.
But make no mistake, the commenter says, he will get the wall built.
He won't. The efficient Ms. Nash rebuts.
Earlier, I offered up the noun and verb, dozen words or less, definitions of "wall".
By now, although it doesn't find its way into the conversation much, it should come as no surprise that there are a number of other definitions that have been either overlooked...or ignored.
I'm a more bang for my bucks kind of guy when it comes to the King's English so, allow me, if you will, to expand a little on the what it is...and what it isn't....when we talk "wall".
In this instance, Donald's wall. Which, to minimize any additionally unnecessary, and way, way already overused spotlighting of Trump as a brand name, we'll simply refer to as "this wall".
This wall is, first and foremost, a deceit, a mendacity, a fraud, a flim flam, a dupery, a snow job, a trickery and a treachery, all of the aforementioned being officially recognized synonyms for one really fun, free spirited word:
Boondoggle. Noun. A work or activity that is wasteful or pointless...but...gives the appearance of having value.
In verb form, it means to waste time or money or both on unnecessary or questionable projects.
And just so there's no confusion amongst those who get all of their insight from either Fox News or MeTV, we're talking boondoggle. Not Gidget's boyfriend Moondoggie.
One is a comedic character in a plot that seems laughably ridiculous, while entertaining, even exciting millions of Americans.
The other, of course, is Gidget's boyfriend.
And, yo, zealots, demagogue darlings and defenders of the Realm, calm down, sit down and be cool.
No reasonable person is against improvement in security for our nation, whether it be protecting and preventing unwanted, unsavory undesirables from sneaking over the border to rape and pillage...or uninformed, unenlightened deplorables sneaking into the voting booth to make America great again.
But any fifth grade student, let alone a caravan of educated experts on the matter, could testify under oath that "this wall" is impractical and unlikely. And, turns out, not so much for what it isn't, which is an intelligently researched, expertly studied and firmly feasible plan for a means of streamlining the way we control who comes in, and who stays out of, this country, but because of what "this wall" really is.
This wall is... a very catchy, but essentially empty promise made on the campaign trail where promises are like popsicles at the county fair on a hot summer day...impossible to resist, but very likely melted away before they can do anything for you. 1900 William McKinley promising "A full dinner pail"...Herbert Hoover's 1928 pledge of "A chicken in every pot and a car in every garage. Even the failed campaigns of Huey Long's 1935 vow that every man would be "a king" or the 1856 razzle dazzle of John Fremont who waved "Free Soil, Free Labor, Free Speech, Free Men" in front of voter's faces, adding, of course, a little "Fre"mont to correctly conclude the catchiness. Each promise set in stone sure to fire up the crowd, more than very likely, once dissected and examined thoroughly, nothing more than blindingly red, white and blue bullshit.
This wall...is a shiny thing, a distraction, a detour sign. Designed and, thus far, succeeding in changing the narrative, the high priced wonk way of saying steering the conversation....away from a cross between a bad sitcom, a worse reality show and "presidency", starting with a presidential "campaign" that should have been fatally wounded at the first mention of pussy grabbing...let alone the mocking ridicule of everyone in the political process, let alone a reporter with a congenital challenge.
And detour is diversion. This wall diverts the masses, and the media who report on the masses, who then act in ways that bring the media back around to report on the masses (and you wonder why you have a low grade headache pretty much all the time these days), this wall diverts the masses from not only holding the once upon a time candidate accountable for the other promises he made during that campaign. How's that great, terrific, just terrific new Trumpcare health insurance program working out for you? Yeah. Me, too. And not only not accountable for that. But not accountable for any, not even one, of the inept moves, amateur night implementations and, drum roll, please, tens if not by now dozens of clear violations of the oath of office he took to preserve, protect and defend?
This wall...is a Star of David spray painted on the side of a Jewish bodega in Manhattan. It is a Swastika flying freely and proudly during a parade through American streets, you know, those parades of those "very fine people". This wall...is a burning cross.
Oh, it's advertised as the one wall fits all solution to the dangers of those unwanted, unsavory undesirables sneaking over the border to rape and pillage. But if we sued and won and the pitch man was required by the judgement to adhere to the truth-in-advertising statutes, what you'd learn, assuming you don't already know what I've been talking about and what I am now talking about, that this wall is just the oldest trick in the open for business business.
Bait and switch.
Come on in for the impractical, badly planned, totally unresearched, inevitably doomed to fail protection from unwanted, unsavory undesirables.
Only to find that what you've purchased is an endorsement of religious intolerance .White supremacy. Bigotry. Racism.
Hatred.
This wall....isn't a wall...at all. It's a door. A portal. An entrance to an America of thirty, forty, sixty, a hundred years ago. Above which is inscribed, in a modernized re-boot of that oldie but goodie, "abandon brotherhood, all ye who enter here."
You remember brotherhood, don't you? Yeah, it was in that song. What was the name of that....oh....yeah.
It was that one that went "and crown thy good / with brotherhood......say it with me.....
"...from sea to shining sea..."
This wall... is a deceit, a mendacity, a fraud, a flim flam, a dupery, a snow job, a trickery and a treachery.
And here's one we left out earlier. And, hand to God, you just can't make this shit up.
The definition..."noun: attractive articles of little value or use....verb: showy...but worthless."
The word...trumpery.
A new year.
And new resolutions to put an end to our assorted and sundry bad habits.
But a new bad habit that really needs some serious attention, pronto.
Making important decisions about presidential candidates without coming within a mile of thinking it through or having a clue.
Some time ago, during a segment I was hosting on talk radio, a not all that transparently annoyed caller asked me..."don't you liberals think that some of us out here got enough common sense to know what should or shouldn't happen...and what should or shouldn't be done?"
It turns out, in too many instances, that the correct answer to that question is no, we honestly don't think you do.
Because too many people. Far too many people obviously, and regrettably, can't even tell the difference between a wall...and a detour sign.
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