"...God Protect Us From Those Who Fell For...The Leader of the Pack...."

Two kinds of people in the world, the old saying goes.

Leaders.

And followers.


16 year old Destinee Mangum has publicly thanked the three strangers who intervened on a Portland light rail after a man hurled anti-Muslim slurs at her and her friend who was wearing a hijab.

Two of the men were killed. One is in the hospital after the suspect, identified as Jeremy Joseph Christian, 35, stabbed the three victims.

"I just want to say thank you to the people who put their life on the line for me," Mangum said, "Because they didn't even know me and they lost their lives because of me and my friend and the way we look."

On Friday afternoon, Mangum and her friend were riding the MAX light rail when the suspect allegedly targeted them. He yelled at Mangum, who is not Muslim, and her friend, using what police described as "hate speech toward a variety of ethnicities and religions."

"He told us to go back to Saudi Arabia and he told us we shouldn't be here, to get out of his country," Mangum said "He was just telling us that we basically weren't anything and that we should just kill ourselves."

Frightened by his outburst, the pair moved away to the back of the train. 

Then a stranger intervened, telling the man that he "can't disrespect these young ladies like that."

"Then they just all started arguing," Mangum said. 

By the time the light rail pulled into the next station, Mangum and her friends were ready to leave.

"Me and my friend were going to get off the MAX and then we turned around while they were fighting and he just started stabbing people," she said. 

"It was just blood everywhere and we just started running for our lives." 

Several passengers chased after the suspect and called 911, directing officers to his whereabouts, according to local media. 

The men who had intervened were viciously attacked, police said.

Ricky John Best, 53, of Happy Valley, died at the scene. The military veteran worked as a technician for the city of Portland and gravitated towards public service. 

Taliesin Myrddin Namkai-Meche, 23, of Portland, died at the hospital. He had graduated from Portland's Reed College with a degree in economics last year and had just begun his career working at an environmental consulting agency.

The third victim, Micah Fletcher, 21, is being treated at a hospital with serious injuries. A GoFundMe account to pay for his medical bills showed a picture of him on a hospital bed with the visible neck wound that read: "Thank you for all the support." 

 

Christian was charged with two counts of aggravated murder and one count of attempted murder, all felonies. The aggravated murder charge has the death penalty as a possible sentence. 

He also was charged with misdemeanors: two counts of second-degree intimidation and a count of being a felon in possession of a restricted weapon, police said.

Police said detectives are looking at Christian's background, "including the information publicly available about the suspect's extremist ideology."

Videos have surfaced showing Christian at various events shouting at people, at one point saying the N-word, as police officers separated him from others.

 

Authorities are trying to determine whether Christian will be charged with federal hate crimes.

In addition to the videos showing the killer at various events, pictures of past tweets have surfaced showing him at one particular rally, American flag draped around his neck, defiantly extending one arm in a Nazi salute, his other hand carrying a baseball bat, the caption of the tweet remarking how he is screaming racial and religious epithets.

It will come as no great shock that the rally he was attending was in support of Trump.

Let's save ourselves some time.

And skip the very exhausting and, by now, very cliche and, ultimately, futile debate/argument/outright battle over whether or not Donald Trump is a reprehensible human being.

Let's just spend a few moments pondering concepts.

In particular, the concept of leadership.

The dictionary is scholastically direct but emotionless in its definition.

"...the action of leading a group of people or organization.."

For my money, defining leadership is accomplished by following the example set in 1964 by Supreme Court justice Potter Stewart who, when called upon to define obscenity, remarked that he couldn't define it, per se' but, "I know it when I see it."

Leadership, it its most authentic form, is very much like that.

Perhaps we cannot define it, per se', but we know it when we see it.

Meanwhile, there are the words of Voltaire to consider.

Or Spiderman's Uncle Ben, depending on your particular source for wisdom encrusted pearls.

"With great power...comes great responsibility."

When we think of leadership, we tend to lean toward the majestic, as opposed to malevolent, practitioners.

Moses, who, with a little assist from the director of locusts and flaming hailstones, convinced Pharaoh to let his people go.

Gandhi, hunger striking his way to inspiring an entire nation to put an end to generations of being ruled by another nation.

Franklin Roosevelt, who calmed fears by defining fear itself and delivered America out of a devastating depression.

You can practically hear the stirring John Williams soundtrack playing in the background.

Meanwhile, as the less erudite and articulate among us might chime in, "the list of leaders ain't all roses and daffodils, ya know?"

Ivan the Terrible.

Attila the Hun.

Various Kim Jongs of one Un or another.

Castro.

Stalin.

Hitler.

And, of course, the boo hiss villain who, even dead, still ranks right up there at the top of the charts these days.

Osama Bin Laden.

Old joke goes like this. Many people say that everything happens for a reason. 

No one ever says it's always a good reason.

Leadership is like that.

One can be led to safety, paradise or even just a place to get the best burgers in town.

One can also be led to rack and ruin.

Trump has made it clear, from the outset of his entry into the political portion of what will  be his someday self glorifying, surely ghostwritten autobiography, that his style of leadership is light on the inspiring and concrete block heavy on the inciting. Little or no effort put into calming a nation's concerns and daily, if not hourly, tappings into his faithful's fears, fears themselves, never wasting time on excessive, let alone eloquent, oratory when 140 characters or less will get the demagoguery done.

In a slapstick comedy romp or a even a weekly satirical Saturday night show, this style of statesmanship would be a literal mother lode of material.

Come to think of it, it is a literal mother lode of material.

But our day to day lives aren't slapstick comedy romps. And our hopes and dreams and urgent desires to find ways to keep family and friends safe, and alive, in a world where hate and violence and venom and, yes, insanity are in much too abundant supply are not the stuff of satirical Saturday night shows.

And while Trump is on record, via audio, via video, via printed interview, via thousands of hours of thousands of public pronouncements as declaring Islam an enemy and, as a result, even if only inadvertently owing to his ineptness and complete lack of ability, stirring the pot of passions and poison and predispositions to act out the rages within, he has yet, at this writing, to offer a single public utterance on the savage attacks on, or murders of, Taliesin Myrddin Namkai-Meche, Ricky John Best and Micah Fletcher.

There are millions of people in this world who woke up on this Memorial Day Monday still appalled beyond measure at what happened in Portland on Friday.

There are, likely, millions of people in this world still appalled that one particular leader has had nothing to say.

But there are, at least, thousands of people who woke up in America on this Monday who believe in their leader and what he represents and what he has said.

And what he has not said.

Two kinds of people in this world.

Leaders and followers.

And that's the problem.

(ED.Note: since the publishing of this piece earlier today, Trump has tweeted the following:
"the violent attacks in Portland on Friday are unacceptable. The victims were standing up to hate and intolerance. Our prayers are w/them"

Hate and intolerance.

As in "found throughout the frenzied crowds last year at Trump rallies from coast to coast")

"...And, Suddenly, Portland Sees The Term 'Memorial Day' In A Cruelly Ironic Light..."

Enough nasty, bitter political back and forth for the moment.

Here's some instructive info to help make your Memorial Day memorable. Or, at least, factually correct.

First, a little something about knowing the difference.

In this case, between Memorial Day and its November cousin, Veterans Day.

Veterans Day is a Federal holiday held every November 11th to honor all military personnel who serve and/or have served in the armed forces of the United States.

Memorial Day, meanwhile, is a Federal holiday held on the last Monday in May each year that honors all those who have given their lives while serving in the armed forces of the United States.

So, simply put, on Veterans Day we honor all military personnel and on Memorial Day we honor military personnel that have died for their country.

Of course, on Memorial Day, there's also some minor fiddle faddle having to do with cookouts and beach parties and several days off from work and great deals on sheets and/or towels and/or mattresses, but few people pay much attention to those trivialities on such an important day.

The respective purposes of the holidays get juxtaposed frequently, with many somber, solemn tributes finding their way to social media and common conversation on Veterans Day, while more celebratory, Yankee Doodle Dandy moments, memories and memes are liberally sprinkled on what is, as we've already discussed here, the more solemn Memorial Day.

You might think that the word "Memorial" would be of some use in cluing people as to the difference but, golly gosh gee willikers, Mr. and Mrs. America, we do live in a beautiful land of amber waves of grain, spacious skies, purple mountain majesties and an attention span that can barely be measured with conventional time pieces, so, we should probably toast with the half full glass that most people observe either one, or the other, of the two days without stuffing a turkey or decorating a tree.

If that seems a smidge strident, it's only because little things really do mean a lot. Little things like the difference between things.

Memorial Day. Veterans Day.

Here's another one that nudges the line of being picky, picky but, still (allowing for the attention span thing) say it with me....little things really do mean a lot.

Daylight Savings Time. And Daylight Saving Time.

The former is incorrect. The latter is correct.

And, of course, there's the difference between former and latter, but there's a larger point to be made with this piece and so many cookouts and beach parties and several days off from work and great deals on sheets and/or towels and/or mattresses, so little time.

Here's an example of a more subtle difference but proof that, like little, subtle things mean a lot, too.

The difference between responsible. And accountable.

First, some stage setting is required.


Two men were fatally stabbed Friday on a crowded commuter train in Portland, Oregon, when they confronted a passenger who was "yelling a gamut of anti-Muslim and anti-everything slurs," a police spokesman said.

The suspect may have been targeting two girls who were described as Muslim. One of them was wearing a hijab, Portland police Sgt. Pete Simpson reported. 

Police are considering the man's remarks as hate speech, the department said in a statement.

The stabbing occurred on a Metropolitan Area Express (MAX) light-rail train. 

One man suffered injuries and first responders attempted to save his life, but he died at the scene. A second victim, also stabbed, died at a hospital, police said. Witnesses said one of the victims was stabbed in the neck. 

A third passenger, who also tried to intervene with the shouting man, was injured but is expected to survive, police said.

The victims didn't know the suspect and were trying to protect other passengers in the train, police said. 

Police say it's unclear what might have led to the confrontation. 

"We do not know if the suspect was drunk, on medication, had mental issues or anything else," Simpson said.

The stabbings happened as the start of Ramadan, a Muslim holy month-long period of fasting, approached at sunset. 

The Council on American-Islamic Relations called on President Donald Trump to denounce "against rising bigotry" and acts of violence against Muslims following the stabbings. 

"President Trump must speak out personally against the rising tide of Islamophobia and other forms of bigotry and racism in our nation that he has provoked through his numerous statements, policies and appointments that have negatively impacted minority communities," said CAIR National Executive Director Nihad Awad. 

Oregon Sen. Jeff Merkley took to Twitter to talk about the stabbings.

"Terrible tragedy on Portland's Max Train. Champions of justice risked and lost their lives. Hate is evil," he wrote.

 Lily Mercer is an accomplished screenwriter and Facebook friend whose post of this horrific news story first brought it to my attention. This is Lily's accompanying post caption to the news story.


This is beyond sad. We are entering into a phase of life we are not prepared for - where where truth, love, and understanding have been trumped by... Trump. Don't tell me he has nothing to do with it. He gave these people a voice. And then he gave them permission to act out.


Couple of quick thoughts.

First, bet the beach blanket, that Trump will not be speaking out personally against any thing even remotely resembling a rising tide, let alone the "rising tide of Islamophobia" unless, of course, it is, in some manner or another, yet another opportunity to fan some flames in order to keep his "beloved base" all warm and toasty.

Second, that "beloved base" will be loud, proud and prodigious in both their defense of their boy and praise for his promise to "bomb the shit out of them", the them, of course, never really so much clearly defined as generally imagined. And, as has been the case thus far, a group that includes folks who don't know the difference between "to" and "too" will suddenly display stunning skill at articulating that this obscene murder of two decent human beings who simply tried to help other human beings in distress was the result of "psycho towelheads", "bat shit craziness", "failure to take his meds", "watching too much MSNBC" and some very creative faithful will totally find a way to blame the attack on either Obama (known affectionately in those Mensa member heavy social groups as Obummer), Hillary, a combination of the two or they'll just drop back in the pocket and fire off their go-to Hail Mary, "those damn libturd snowflakes".

In short, anything and everything under the sun that, for the moment, still shines down on all of us, everywhere, will be to blame for what happened in Portland.

With the exception, of course, of the guy who put the d to the e to the m.a.g. in demagogue last year.

We hear there's even some talk about Lee Harvey Oswald being involved at this point, but that's just speculation and we don't want to add fake news to an already formidable fire.

And then there's Lily.


Don't tell me he has nothing to do with it. He gave these people a voice. And then he gave them permission to act out.


Yeah. What she said.

Except we all know that those who agree have been agreeing all along and will continue to agree, today, tomorrow, forever and ever, amen. And those who disagree will be among those standing in Times Square approvingly watching Donald shoot that kid he mentioned in the not so distant, while they eagerly calculate that it's only three and half years, give or take, before they get the chance to vote for him again.

Which brings us back to differences.

Memorial Day. Veterans Day.

Daylight Savings Time. Daylight Saving Time.

Responsible. Accountable.

Cue a couple of dictionary definitions here:

Responsible... "being the primary cause of something and so able to be blamed or credited for it."
 
Accountable..."...required or expected to justify actions or decisions;..."

Here's a practical application of the difference between those two definitions as it applies to our little chit chat here.

Trump's demagogic politics of fear, complete with bigotry, prejudice, racial and religious slander, the stench of which was almost, but not completely, masked with heavy spritzes of the campaign slang equivalent of Febreeze, "populism", accomplished what it set out to do. Get him elected President of the United States. And because there's no such thing as "a little bit pregnant", once the cork was out of the bottle, fear, bigotry, prejudice, racial and religious slander spread then, and continue to spread, into every single crack, vent and air hole in the American breathing apparatus. It's not an attack or an accusation, it is, in fact, simply a dispassionate fact that the release, the freeing, of those toxins was the result of that method of campaigning. That was the method of campaigning that Trump freely chose. And, no matter how much DeVos mucks up the educational system before she goes back to rich white woman la la land, one plus one still equals two. The Trump methodology of campaigning was the primary cause of the nationwide release of the toxins, therefore, by dictionary definition, he is "responsible" for that toxic release.

And, just because it makes his defenders crazy when a point is stretched but not snapped, there's a case to be made that while he wasn't anywhere near that MAX train Friday, he is "responsible" for the
obscene murder of two decent human beings who simply tried to help other human beings in distress.

Legal precedent?

Not irrefutably sure, to be honest.

Pretty confident there's at least a dozen or so episodes of "Law and Order" where I can find some backup, though.

Accountable, meanwhile?

"Required or expected to justify actions or decisions?"

Well, satirically ironic as it might sound given the toxicity of the national atmosphere these days...

Don't. Hold. Your. Breath.

Trump is never, ever, ever, ever, ever (can I get an "ever"?) ever....going to feel a wispy hint of intention to justify a single, solitary, ding damn thing he has ever, or will ever, ever, ever say, do, think, want, expect, demand...

You get the idea.

And on this weekend of commemoration of those who made the ultimate sacrifice for their country, it's one, probably, trivial thing to not know the difference between Memorial Day and Veterans Day.

Another trivial, even silly, thing to not know the difference between Daylight "Savings" and Daylight "Saving".

Not knowing the difference between "responsible" and "accountable", though?

Indefensible.

Don't take my word for it.

Ask the families of two decent human beings who simply tried to help other human beings in distress.

Oh...and that opening comment about "enough nasty, bitter political back and forth for the moment"?

Moment's over.



 

"....Want The Truth From The Media? You Got It...One Condition...You First..."

It's one of my favorite moments in any given episode of "Law and Order".

Jack McCoy, questioning a resisting witness, pivots suddenly to a question that comes more in the form of a sucker punch that exposes the transgression, falsehood, flaw in the alibi, etc of that witness, instantly bringing the defense attorney to their feet, objecting strenuously to the inappropriateness of the question itself.

And the judge, begrudgingly, but, professionally, with an almost palpable weariness, mixed with a little tone reminiscent of a parent admonishing a child responds.

"...you opened the door, Mr (or Ms. ) Defense Attorney...objection overruled."

I always find myself doing a little quick fisted "yessss!" when that happens. Probably because I get an admittedly too gleeful enjoyment out of watching someone being hoisted on their own petard. And, along with it, most likely, an appreciation for he, or she, who has pulled off the hoisting.

I was reminded of my keenness for comeuppance today when a friend of mine forwarded me an op/ed written by a broadcasting colleague of mine.

Rick Jensen is, his syndicated column blurb reads,  Delaware's award-winning conservative talk show host on WDEL, streaming live on WDEL.com from 1pm ---- 4pm EST. Contact Rick at rick@wdel.com, or follow him on Twitter @Jensen1150WDEL.

I've been privileged to guest host for Rick a few times, albeit from a studio in a different part of the state. Just recently, though, circumstances had me guest hosting for another host from the WDEL studios in Wilmington, providing me the opp to meet and chat with Rick. Although the "meet/chat" actually only lasted three or four minutes of a five minute commercial break, Rick offered graciously kind words of praise for my work, coupled with the good natured snark I couldn't help but appreciate, given our pretty much polar positions on pretty much all things political. I had, and have, the feeling that he and I could have some great fun and make some great radio if fate and fortunes ever put us in the point-counterpoint position.

"Rick...you ignorant slut...."

We should both just start clearing a place on the mantle for the multiple Peabodys, ya know?

The op/ed he wrote, forwarded to me by another friend, appears on the website home of the Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate. 

The full text can be found here:
https://www.caglecartoons.com/column.asp?columnID=%7BF1D0FF9A-1A3C-4F80-8E61-01A12443FA81%7D 

For my purposes, though, here's Rick's opening salvo.

Which is worse, President Trump allegedly sharing a piece of classified intel with the Russian ambassador or insider bureaucrats leaking classified information to journalists, all hell-bent on unseating a president they just don't like? *

When asked, in the context of a live radio show, my guess would be that Rick would be asking, and expecting, literal answers to that question.

In the context of a printed piece, meanwhile, one would assume the question to be more rhetorical.

To no one's great surprise, I'm gonna forego the rhetorical and go with the literal.

After the initial gauntlet of Rick's premise has been thrown down, he goes on to elaborate on the media's treatment of Trump, taking to task a plethora of pundits for their prejudicial presentations.

"...CNN, ABC, NBC, MSNBC, CBS, the New York Times...and all of the papers in ink and online that republish those outlets..." * are taken out back to Rick's woodshed for their "reporting of conjecture", in particular, their conjecture(s) regarding Trump's Kremlin Krisis. It should probably be mentioned, here, that, in Rick's piece, Fox News is obviously, and obviously, conspicuous by its absence from the indictment. In fairness, because it's a safe bet that Fox isn't taking Trump to task for the Kremlin Krisis. 

Of course, it's an even safer bet that Fox News wouldn't take Trump to task for, say, kidnapping, even if the skeletal remains of the Lindbergh baby showed up buried in the moldy basement under Mar A Lago.

But I digress.

Rick uses up a fair chunk of his written words with an example of  what I've affectionately referred to, in my own work, as "but what about(s)?". In this case, "they accuse Trump of ________, but what about when Obama________...or what about when Hillary_____?"

In Rick's piece, Obama is the what abouter du jour.

And that's okay or, at least, that's to be expected because no conservative worth their salt, or their Hannity decoder ring, would fail to take the opportunity to whip up a fresh batch of equivalency when cooking up a big ol' dish of defending the Donald.

And, again, in fairness (I was going to say in fairness and balance, but Ailes just did pass away and even smart ass libturd snowflakes like me have enough class to stay away from punch lining the newly dead), Rick does endorse comments made by Tom Brokaw, a veteran journalist of the journalistic integrity era and someone who could never be indicted for, let alone convicted of, being a conservative voice.

So, there's that.

But all of that and, I'm a thinkin', meanders away from the "ah-ha" moment in the plot of this episode of Jensen vs SEP- The Rhetorical Reckoning.

And here it comes.

Rick is absolutely right. More accurately, I couldn't agree with Rick more. At least insofar as his foundational assertion that mainstream (read: liberal) media has it in for Trump and ain't all that concerned about playing fair. As those, once upon a time, insightful political pundits Rowan and Martin would have put it....

"...you bet your sweet bippy, they want to bring Trump down....and they've got ammo belts chock full of conjecture...and they ain't afraid to use it..."

The fly in the ointment, though, the barb in the rhubarb, the kill in the buzzkill is that this is where the petard makes its dramatic appearance in our story.

The petard that comes in the shape of the notorious "but, what about_____?"

There are certain truths in this life, no matter how we bend, flex, smash, shatter and/or mutate them.

One of those truths is that two wrongs don't make a right. And, in the higher scheme of things, one lie never justifies the telling of another lie, either in support of the first lie or, worse, in retaliation or response to the first lie.

But we don't live in the higher scheme of things. We live in the America where Donald Trump lives at 1600 Pennsylvania (at least one or two days out of the week).

And there's that pesky business about where the bar is set.

Passionate partisan politics aside, policy disagreement understandable and notwithstanding, even simple, basic, primal dislike of a particular individual taken into account, in this case, an individual who, arguably, has set a standard for polarization that may not be equaled in our lifetimes, if ever, there is one irrefutable fact in play.

The 45th President of the United States is a liar. A fibber, a fabricator, an obfuscator, a deceiver, a teller of untruths, a taradiddler.

And you can put Jeffrey Lord and Kellyanne Conway and Scottie Nell Hughes and Kayleigh McEneny and Sean Hannity and throw in a newly re-furbed and re-booted edition of the Mike Curb Congregation, if you want, on 24 hour spin patrol and it will not change, alter or disprove the fact that Trump is not an honest man.

And, if the court please, the evidence submitted in support of this assessment is not rumor, nuance, obfuscation, slander, libel, interpretation or insinuation.

It is factually based truth, available to any and all who wish to confirm it, via hundreds of hours of audio and video and other "recorded live as they happened" statements by this president, himself, his own self and nothing but himself.

And let's don't even get started on the Tweets. Both old and new. But especially old. Contrasted with the new.

For that reason, if only that reason absolutely alone, that's why any discussion, debate, dissertation, disagreement, conversation or simple plain ol' chit chat about the integrity, or lack, of the purportedly villainous mainstream media (read: every single word printed or spoken in a news format in the United States of America that does not come from Fox News) is, at best, a waste of time.

And, at worst, an insult to what's left of the intelligence of the American people.

As I very intentionally pointed out a few paragraphs back, two wrongs don't make a right. And one lie is never an excuse to tell a second.

But holding media (with, of course, the exception of Fox News that has long ago broken my ex-wife's record for never, ever, ever being wrong about anything) to a "standard of truth and factual utterance" for lack of a less lofty phrase is, it turns out, not so much an exercise in futility as it is a literal impossibility.

Because...there is no standard of truth and factual utterance.

And proof about the truth is that it simply doesn't enter into the equation these days.

The 45th President of the United States has no problem ignoring it. Or objecting, complaining and/or plotting to harshly deal with anyone who deigns to call him on the fact that he ignores it.

And the media?

Well, in that higher scheme of things, they would take the high road and just be better people than that.

And it really is a damn shame that they don't take that high road more often.

But there's not a current President in sight on that high road.

Making the case that, if only by implication, truth is expendable and the lie is acceptable.

And were I representing the media and the opposing attorney leaped up and strenuously objected to the media's reporting of conjecture and rumor and, hell, let's just cut to the chase here, flat out lies, I would have merely to give the judge a glance, arch an eyebrow of expectation and wait for the ruling to come rolling right on over them.

Your President....sorry, I mean, your client, opened the door.

Objection overruled.







 







 *© Copyright 2017 Rick Jensen, distributed exclusively by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.
 

"...Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let it Snow...."

It remains one of my favorite moments doing talk radio.

And it never even got on the air.

A year or so ago, while guest hosting during afternoon drive on the Delaware station where I exercise most of my mischief, I was, memory serves, talking about Trump, his "campaign", his shortcomings, his screamingly obvious character flaws...you know, the usual.

And even all these months later, I'm sure I was talking about my continued bewilderment that people who seemed reasonable and possessed of common sense, let alone any sense of common courtesy or decency, could still, even at that early, pre-proof is in the puddin' or Oval Office, as the case may be, stage of the scenario either not see, or see and refuse to admit to, the aforementioned shortcomings, screamingly obvious character flaws...you know, the usual.

I'm sure that's the point I was spending afternoon drive time driving home because of the call that came in.

That one that never even got on the air.

As I took advantage of a four minute commercial break to walk down the hallway and visit the powder room, I passed by the main desk where my producer/call screener had been busy producing and call screening. He put on an impish grin/smirk as I approached and said, "you're gonna love this."

Successfully hooked by that bit of banter bait, I stopped and replied, "okay."

"A lady just called," he went on, "told me that she didn't want to be put on the air..."

One of the fun comedic ironies of the talk radio biz, by the way...people who call a live talk radio show to express an opinion but don't want other people to hear their opinion...

"...but," my colleague continued, " she said for me to tell you....'you tell that guy you got on the air there right now that he thinks we don't know that he's calling us stupid....but you tell him that we know he's calling us stupid...".

Because her phone call never got past the 'you tell him' and then hang up phase, none of the usual pre-on air info was acquired, like who she was or where she was calling from....."..and now, let's go to Ethel who's calling in from Ferdville, this afternoon...", etc.

So, I don't, and will never, know who she was.

But I've got a pretty good idea where she was calling from.

Not that I'm all that clairvoyant, it's simply that the listening area of this particular radio station is, give or take a little spill over into Jersey, primarily the state of Delaware. And Delaware only has three counties.

And only one of those counties is redder than the red red robin when the red red robin comes bob bob bobbin along.

So, my predisposition for profound perception notwithstanding, it was a pretty obvious number on which to stack my chips.

But the where isn't so much the point. It's the what she said about what it was that she wanted him to tell me.

That business about "he thinks we don't know he's calling us stupid, but you tell him we know he's calling us stupid."

First, I wondered, then, as I wonder now, just who this "we" was.

All due respect to the fine citizens of Red Red Robin County. most people who are calling or visit talk radio on behalf of a group or organization are ready, willing and able to be identified. Individuals, on the other hand, who want to stand up and be counted, but fall back on the use of the pronoun "we" are generally in need of some subconscious dependence on the strength to be found only in numbers.

Unless, of course, there were, like, a couple of hundred offended people hanging there with her, listening and she drew the short straw, or something, when it came time to call in and express their displeasure.

Probably not.

Either way, I was disappointed that I never got the chance to chat with her.

Probably because, although I'm confident that I would have maintained some level of courtesy and/or politeness in our conversation, I would have found some way to give her, at the very least, props for her perception, awareness and savvy, in so far as her read on my rhetoric was concerned.

Yes, Virginia, I was calling you stupid.

But, to my credit, I was attempting to exercise plan B when it comes to the rules of engagement I was taught as a child.

Plan A, of course, being "if you don't have anything nice to say,", etc, etc,.

The problem with Plan A, as it applies to talk radio, though, is that if you adhere, on talk radio, to the premise of not saying anything if you don't have anything nice to say, then there is very little or no talk likely to take place on talk radio.

Plan B, on the other hand, provides a certain cover and, if properly executed, just enough plausible deniability to wiggle out when and if wiggling out is indicated.

For further information and a master's degree level instruction on the art of insulting people and their intelligence to their face while cloaking it in either satirical gobbledygook or some hilarious attempt at feigning interest in the greater good, I would refer you to any thing coming out of the mouth of the current President of the United States.

Meanwhile, back to the lady who wanted me to know that they knew.

I know, right?.

Which brings me ever so verbosely around to the primary reason for this piece, in the first place.

Name calling.

It's disingenuous as all get out to offer that I've never called anyone stupid on the air.

Then again, disingenuous is the new "flat out lyin' to your face, motherfucker..", right?

So let me say that I've never called anyone stupid on the air.

A lot of people are saying that I've called them stupid on the air. A lot of terrific, terrific people. People who tell me I'm doing a great job. Terrific people. Just terrific.

At least that couple of hundred people hanging out and listening with that lady who drew the short straw when it was time to call and tell my producer/call screener that "they" knew I was calling 'them" stupid.

See, I don't call people names.

First, it's disingenuous. We covered that, right?

Second, I've always found it to be poorly veiled laziness. Five year olds have no particular vocabulary or ability to drape their diss in phrase, so, it's them doing their best when they fire off a healthy "...oh, yeah?.....wel.....you're.....you're just stupid......".

Anybody over five who reverts to name calling, meanwhile, is just not sincere about wanting to engage.

Nor capable, for that matter.

Which brings me around to a few of the names, in particular, being called these days.

Libtard.

Libturd. The, of course, stunningly clever and witty amalgamation of philanthropic proclivities and piles of pompous poop.

Bwa to the ha to the ha.

And, no doubt about it, the real S word that more than bumps shit right out of that number one slot on the ol' top ten, cats and kitties.

Snowflake.

Here's a thing, though.

All three of those very prominent and oft spat out terms, these days, originated and are mostly used by those of the conservative persuasion.

Libtard, of course, the stunningly clever and witty amalgamation of liberal and retarded.

Bwa to the ha to the shame on you. Really? Retard? Come on, even the dimmest bulb in the box knows that you never go full retard.

Libturd, we already dissected. So to speak.

Snowflake, meanwhile, is, in its own way, the most insidious, hostile, even vicious epithet in the ammo belt.

Because it takes something gentle and poignant and beautiful and all Norman Rockwelly and shit and attempts to turn it around into a poke, a stab, an assault on our gentleness, a slam on our sweetness, a kick in our kindnesses to one another.

Americans do that a lot, by the way. Simple logic would dictate that if you wanted to verbally denigrate somebody, you'd go for the more monstrous, say, "you big, overgrown ogre of a bully".

Nope. Nothing seems to pack more punch than lightening it up.

"You fairy..."

Yes, of course, that's an unveiled slash at a sexuality but, still, don't you think "you big, overgrown ogre of a buttfucking bitch" would carry more weight in the dressing down?

Apparently not.

And let's not forget that he or she who first used the word derisively and those who now lash out with it , weren't aware of what they perceived to be the very clever irony of calling someone a "snowflake".

See, snowflakes are gentle and lovely and peaceful and I'm calling you that because it's an absolutely, screamingly sarcastic reference to the fact that your point of view contains gentleness and loveliness and peacefulness and that means you're weak and timid and you got no spine and you got no balls and I can't stand anymore of your candy ass blather about feeding the hungry or housing the homeless...and NO MORE of your dumb shit liberal dumb shit about finding a balance between gender and sexuality issues that are a paradox in the discussions of our humanity and our morality and we just need more fucking missiles and destroyers and aircraft fucking carriers....don't you GET IT?........SNOWFLAKE???"

Yeah.

Turns out, actually we do.

"....you tell that guy you got on the air there right now that he thinks we don't know that he's calling us stupid....but you tell him that we know he's calling us stupid..."

Ma'am....I never doubted for a minute that you knew exactly what I meant.

Or what I mean right now.



 

"...Coming Soon To The Cabinet...Secretary Of Pickin' Fly Shit Outta Pepper..."

Chances are that Michelle Obama's question was primarily rhetorical.

But there is a very real answer available.

It's a black thing.

Explanation forthcoming.



Former first lady Michelle Obama expressed concern Friday over the Trump administration's decision to scale back school meal nutritional requirements.

"You have to stop and think, 'Why don't you want our kids to have good food at school? What is wrong with you, and why is that a partisan issue?" Obama said at the annual summit of the Partnership for a Healthier America, a nonprofit that works with the private and public sectors to fight childhood obesity. "Why would that be political?"

Obama's comments come a little over a week after Agriculture Secretary Sonny Perdue signed a proclamation that relaxes standards for the upcoming school year in three key areas: whole grains, salt and milk.

 

Under the new proclamation, states will be able to grant exemptions to schools experiencing hardship in meeting the 100% whole-grain-rich standard. Schools will no longer need to hit the strictest target for lowering sodium in foods offered to students. And meal programs will be able to serve students 1% flavored milk instead of fat-free flavored milk.

 

The policy change loosens school meal standards Obama advocated as first lady through Let's Move!, her signature public health campaign aimed at combating childhood obesity.

 

Obama -- who did not mention President Donald Trump or first lady Melania Trump by name -- emphasized that it's important to make sure parents think about the importance of healthy school lunches.

 

"Moms, think about this," she said. "I don't care what state you live in. Take me out of the equation; like me, don't like me, but think about why someone is OK with your kids eating crap."

 

Obama said she will continue to fight for the cause.

 

"My commitment to these issues is real," she said. "I picked this issue because there was deep passion for it as a mother. ... I'm going to continue working on this."

 

 

 

One of the ongoing and consistently frustrating effects of the hot button topic that is the Trump presidency is the inability, in an unprecedented number of areas, for any of us, probably, judging from what we've seen so far, many, even most of us to find any common ground.

 

Probably more so that at any other time in, at least, modern history, there exists a mindset in the pro-Trump demographic regarding anything even remotely attached to the name Trump that always, unfailingly, boils down to this.

 

You is either fer us or you is agin' us.

 

That's why Michelle Obama's seemingly fair, reasonable and, yes, I'm gonna go out on the big limb here, logical question seems, simultaneously, worthy of a fair and reasonable answer and shameful.

 

Shameful, of course, in the sense that the question shouldn't even have had to have been asked in the first place.

 

But the answer is pretty clear. Pretty obvious.

 

It's a black thing.

 

In the flurry of executive orders and proclamations and arguably royal decrees that have been pumping out of the White House like waste water from the newly freed of regulation fat cat owned factories, there are policies and issues, and new positions on those policies and issues, that can, to any reasonable mind, be eligible for fair debate as to their value or lack.

And a lot of those policies and issues are much too complex and multi-layered to either simply embrace or dismiss on the basis of nothing more than partisan love or hate.

Put in an easier to grasp light for the Real Housewives/American Dad level students of sociology, some of that shit be complicated.

 

Michelle Obama's issue isn't one of those issues.

 

Because, at least, a part of her question falls into the category of crystal clear grasp of the obvious.

 

"...why is someone OK with your kids eating crap?..."

 

Now, since this isn't anywhere even close to our first rodeo when it comes to all things Trump, let me head the likely first and foremost knee jerk response off at the pass.

 

Better yet, let me utilize a resource that never fails to stir the pot, if not energize the debate and discussion. 

 

The style of logic and reason most amusingly, if not anywhere near intelligent, predictably offered up by one or both of news TV's favorite court jesters, Kellyanne Conway and Jeffrey Lord. 

 

I suspect their response would go something like this.

 

"Well, first, I think it's unfair to Secretary Perdue and, of course, to the President to demonize the almost hardly worth mentioning adjustments to the outrageously over legislated regulations regarding these food products in our schools. And, of course, the typical liberal Democratic interpretation of, again, these very minor tweaks, if you will, in the percentages and content levels of these food products is, as usual, a blatant over exaggeration which the Secretary and, of course, the President, along with, I'm very sure, the President's millions and millions and millions of supporters find offensive and counter productive to the goals which the Secretary and, of course, the President have set to get our country back on track after eight years of unpresidented divisiveness and partisan prejudice...and I might add that Mrs. Obama's characterization of the still very healthy choices available to our nation's students as "crap" is demeaning, on its face and shows a great disrespect for our nation's hard working school cafeteria workers, who, by the way, voted in historically unprecedented numbers for the President last November."

 

By now, of course, the pro-Trump camp would be several, very likely off key notes into the hourly rendition of the Hallelujah Chorus while the anti-Trump camp would be eye rolling very close to, but never managing to match or best, the now iconic style of Anderson Cooper.

 

And just so all you pro-Trumpers in our studio audience today don't think the last few minutes of intentional snark was all I got here, let me put that notion to rest.

 

Here's a quick point by point in response to what would certainly be accusations of nit pick.

 

 

• Under the new proclamation, states will be able to grant exemptions to schools experiencing hardship in meeting the 100% whole-grain-rich standard. ----I confess to a sizable lack of expertise in the area of food standards, but I am a reasonably educated guy and additionally confess to my confusion as to what it is, exactly, that constitutes "hardship" when it comes "meeting the 100% whole grain rich standard"......is there a moment at, say, 91% at which that last desperate lunge to get across the ravine is simply unlungeable?

• Schools will no longer need to hit the strictest target for lowering sodium in foods offered to students. I'm officially a senior citizen now with both monthly Social Security check receipts and pretty nice, semi laminated AARP membership card (not to mention pretty nice tote bag) to prove it and my personal experience with health issues in my own life, thus far, gives me the courage of my convictions to share that nowhere, absolutely nowhere, does there exist empirical documentation to support the stand that more salt is ever better. Ever.

• And meal programs will be able to serve students 1% flavored milk instead of fat-free flavored milk. Again, I'm going to go with the more fat is never better than no fat, at least in terms of health....in terms of flavor and, of course, the kind of selfish self indulgence that America has turned from a list of preferences to a daily lifestyle these days, well, hell, fat free, my ass...no pun intended.

 

Sonny Perdue, the aforementioned current Secretary of Agriculture, questioned about the merits of loosening the shackles of culinary oppression, offered up what can fairly be called a waste no words assessment.

 

“If kids aren't eating the food, and it’s ending up in the trash, they aren't getting any nutrition – thus undermining the intent of the program.”

 

The reference to the kids not eating the food has to do with the reported results of some studies that indicate kids don't care much for the whole grain, lower sodium, fat free stuff.

 

In fairness to Secretary Sonny, the first instinct is to think "well, uh, yeah, if the kids aren't eating the food, then that's not good."

 

Right behind that, though, comes the rest of the reality. That what kids would do given a choice between nutritionally balanced meals and Hot Pockets and Mountain Dew three times a day, you wouldn't have to be a casino master to place the right bet there.

 

Admittedly, Purdue's solution to the problem doesn't go what could rightfully be called overboard. I mean, it's not like he's advocating for the Bill Cosby approach to childhood nutrition and offering up chocolate cake for breakfast ("....well, let's see....there's eggs.....and milk......yeah.....), but there is a case to be made that there's evidence of indulging the little scamps a little bit. (..oh, you don't like the fat free milk, Johnny/Jane? well, here's some 1% for you, precious, because we don't want you to be denied a single thing that displeases you or makes you unhappy...")

 

I don't honestly think that's what going on here.

 

Full disclosure, some of my cynicism about it may be rooted in my own generational bias, having grown up in the atmosphere of "...eat it, don't eat it, you can go to bed hungry if you want, your call".

 

I think what's going on here, at least, to some extent is that thing I mentioned earlier.

A black thing.

There's no shortage of op/ed, essay or commentary addressing the belief that a dominant factor in the election of Trump was racial attitude. That Make America Great Again really translated, then, as well as now, to Make America White Again. 

 

And it would be quick and easy day in court if the case to be made was that Trump's agenda and, accordingly, the agenda of those who serve at the pleasure, is to undo, untie, and/or reverse as much of the past eight years as can be undone, untied and/or reversed if only for the purpose of undoing, untying and reversing. And if you factor in the fairly irrefutable fact that the President of the last eight years was black, then, there's that.

 

And Michelle Obama, the original advocate of the Let's Move/nutrition standards program is, again, even to those who are ready to argue anything and everything expressed by anybody even daring to breathe anything but undying loyalty to the Trump, the whole Trump and nothing but the Trump, a black woman.

 

So, it's not a stretch to suggest that this "....almost hardly worth mentioning adjustments to the outrageously over legislated regulations regarding these food products in our schools..." is racially motivated, as well.

 

It's a black thing.

 

Just not that black thing.

 

There is a scene in the acclaimed Patsy Cline biopic, "Sweet Dreams", in which actor Ed Harris, portraying Patsy's husband, Charlie Dick, storms around their living room during one of their many, now legendary husband/wife bickering brawl and, after hundreds of harsh words have been exchanged, suddenly stops bickering and bantering and offers up a single, succinct word.

 

"Black", Charlie barks.

Patsy, momentarily quizzical, resumes her caustic point of view.

"Black", Charlie responds.

Again, Patsy hesitates and then plows ahead in full argue mode.

"Black," Charlie replies.

Finally, sufficiently flummoxed, Patsy stops and responds equally succinctly.

"Charlie, what the hell are you talking about?"

 

"...I'm just sayin' black.....to see if you're gonna  say 'white'..."

 

Seems like if the Secretary and, of course, the President were going to revise, refurb and remodel the status quo from the promised ground up get go, they'd go full monty and damn the restrictions, let the sodium rain down like manna from heaven and, get ready, kids, we're gonna go crah-A-zee and here comes the 3.5 percent chocolate milk, babies.

 

And as for that 100% whole grain nonsense?

 

Fuggedabout it.

 

It's time to Make America White Again.

 

Strictly bread wise, you understand. (wink. wink.)

 

Instead, it's "not quite 100% whole grain is cool" and "more, but not a lot more salt" and "pick a number between whole milk and fat free milk and, well, doggies, there's 1%."

 

In the workplace, when the organization is in general disarray, but the weekly email from the boss announces the new policy on correct placement of staplers on desks with three additional paragraphs devoted to details for the coming week's employee get together lunch, that's what's commonly known as "busy work".

"hey....look what I'm doing to effect change and run this place more efficiently."

 

In a presidency long on image, long on bluster, very long on blowhard and very, very, very short on skill or savvy to actually effect change and run this place more efficiently, the busy work takes the form of not quite 100% whole grains, more but not a lot more salt and a staggering one whole percent more fat in the milk.

 

All changes that meet at least one requirement that has absolutely nothing to do with nutrition.

 

They undo, untie and reverse.

 

Michelle Obama happens to be African American. But she could just as easily be Hispanic, Asian, Portuguese or even Eskimo.

 

Whatever she, and, of course, her husband, the President, put into place during their time of leadership has to go because it has to go.

 

You see, all of those things make Trump see red.

 

Michelle wants kids to eat healthier. And spearheaded a program to accomplish just that. Might even say she shined a light on the challenge.

A bright, white light.

 

The Secretary and, of course, the President, ain't havin' none of that.

 

It's a black thing. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"...Steering Wheels....How About Steering Wheels?...Could We Save Some Manufacturing Expense By Doing Away With the Steering Wheels?..."

Thor Heyerdahl was a fairly complex individual.

With a pretty fundamental grasp on simplicity.

"..Progress," the noted explorer, archaeologist and writer once observed, "...is man's ability to complicate simplicity."

That insightful sharing blipped back onto my radar a few days ago when I came across this story from the business side of the ol' Interweb.


The shares of radio and billboard giant iHeartMedia Inc. have tumbled 27.3 percent since the company warned investors last Thursday that it may not survive over the next 10 months.

The company has $317 million in debt maturing this year, $324 million in 2018 and $8.4 billion due in 2019. As of March 31, iHeartMedia had $365 million in cash on hand, $201 million of which is held by its billboard subsidiary, Clear Channel Outdoor Holdings Inc., which is considered the best-performing unit of the company. iHeartMedia also owns more than 850 radio stations.


Okay, first, it didn't escape me that all of that financial gobbledygook runs clearly contrary to my opening theme of simplicity. And the point about to be made could be made without all the dollars and cents schpiel.

That would, however, have required some editing from the original cutting and pasting of the story I came across from the business side of the ol' Interweb.

And editing requires additional effort.

And I like to keep things simple.

Which puts us right back on topic.

If'n I was, though, to offer up the facts, ma'am, just the facts, it would have looked a little more like this:


iHeartMedia, which owns more than 850 radio stations, warned investors this past week that it may not survive over the next 10 months.


Now, since none of those particular radio stations are NPR, it's a pretty safe bet that the ominous warning isn't merely the latest marketing strategy to inspire and/or motivate listeners to phone in their pledge.

The lack of any mention of tote bags, coffee mugs or all six seasons of Downton Abby on DVD or BluRay pretty much also confirms we're not talking yet another visit from the patron saint of public radio and television, Our Lady Of Perpetual Solicitation.

So, it's reasonable to conjecture that this depletion of dollars is a real deal dilemma. And while it's understandable that one would hesitate to engage in any discussion of the intricacies and complexities of why a multi billion dollar corporation finds itself in dire straits, the truth, in fact, is totally in keeping with today's theme.

Simplicity. Remember? As in simple truth.

Try this on.

They killed themselves.

Oh, no gunfire or blowing out of pilot lights, fresh match ready to strike. No torn sheets tied carefully to the swanky overhead lighting in the executive suites. No pills, poisons, sliced veins or closed garage doors, motor humming along in time to whatever groovy sounds were emanating from the dashboard sound system.

Although, you gotta love the ironic possibilities should that have been the case, should the groovy sounds emanating were emanating from a....wait for it.....iHeartMedia station.

No, they killed themselves by committing the sin of failing to follow one of life's most sacred maxims, most tried and true truisms, one of the most accurate of the aphorisms.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

And the thing is that this particular failing is not unique to iHeart, not at all uncommon, in fact, in the world of terrestrial radio broadcasting in general. It's what you might call a pervasive pickle, a run of the mill malady...a "there's a lotta that goin' around".

At this point, I'm self reminding that I pledged to keep this simple and I've wandered a scoche.

So, back on point.

What iHeartMedia did, and has been doing, like many, if not most of their broadcasting brethren,  would be like KFC deciding to cut costs by no longer buying chicken.

In a relatively brief period of time, with the ostensible goal of making their stations operate at a more financially efficient level, they got rid of what they bar graphed, pie charted and QuickBookingly determined was expendable expense.

And got rid of the only thing keeping terrestrial radio in the year 2017 alive and showing any sign of a pulse.

Lloyd Price referred to it long ago, eloquently and simply.

Personality.

In the interest of full disclosure, it needs mention here, for those who might not be already aware, that I am a decades long veteran of the broadcasting business, have worked, at one time or another, for more radio stations than Ryan Seacrest has hosted shows and have long been a lone wolf voice ("....a rebel, Dottie....a loner...") lamenting the self inflicted wounds from which conventional radio has been bleeding for a while now. In fact, as recently as ten years ago, I was fired from a highly rated area radio show/station because I recklessly ignored the sage advice dispensed by one of the great and, at the same time, no nonsense minds of our times.

Sheldon Cooper's mother, Mary.

"...it's okay to be smarter than everybody else, you just can't go around telling them that.......why not?.....because they don't LIKE it.....".

That said, ten years, two or three more stations and a fairly calm semi-retired career now as an every now and then talk radio host and full time blogger/podcaster later, I haven't changed a bitty bit of my brain when it comes to what I believed to be, then, and still to be, now, the unfortunate foot shooting that the larger radio conglomerates, in particular, but, even the smaller mom and pop companies and/or stations, here and there, have fired off, accomplishing nothing but speeding up the process of what it was they were trying to prevent in the first place.

The end of conventional radio.

And while I'm ding damn sure that, at this moment, management, both upper and middle, industry experts, too often one of the more giggly oxymorons and, my own personal favorite arch nemesis, broadcast consultants are reaching for the aforementioned bar graphs, pie charts and/or Quick Books to show me the error of my logic ways while simultaneously sticking as many pins as they possess into the authentic, signature series SEP voodoo dolls in an effort to shut off the blasphemy flowing from the authentic, signature series SEP, I stand firm and steady, advancing years and the whimsical occasional inner ear issue notwithstanding, in my resolve as to what got broke when they tried to fix what wasn't already broke.

And for that P.O.V. of what got B.R.O.K.E, we return, for a moment, to KFC and the concept of cutting costs by no longer buying chicken.

The logic lays out like this.

Fried chicken was, is and, likely, despite all the seven thousand things that add to the clutter of their menu with each passing day, the primary, fundamental, in a word, main reason that people go to KFC.

And while, yes, you can get fried chicken at Popeye's and Church's and assorted mom and pop poultry emporiums all across this fowl mouthed nation, there's only one place you can get the finger lickin' good, original Colonel's worst kept secret recipe of eleven herbs and spices.

(Actually, there is a growing school of thought that KFC has long ago been surpassed in quality and presentation by its competitors, but indulge me while I finish making both the metaphor and the point.)

Put another way, let's just say that it is the uniqueness of the Kentucky fried chicken, the bird, that gives Kentucky Fried Chicken, the fast food joint, it's.....say it with me.....personality.

If you take the personality out of the equation, what you're left with is coleslaw and biscuits and that suspiciously close to synthetic concoction they list on the menu as mashed potatoes.

And here's where the "what you've got left don't leave you with much" twists the plot.

You can find coleslaw and biscuits and many more flavorful, even genuine Idaho russet improvements on that synthetic concoction they list on the menu as mashed potatoes just about anywhere and/everywhere.

So, do the math and it all adds up to this bottom line.

You no longer need KFC.

Now, let's play a little game of substitution.

In place of the coleslaw and the biscuits and the synthetic concoction, think news, weather, sports, even the latest information about traffic. (A term that always brings an impish smile to a lot of us because the word "traffic" implies movement and we all know that much of the time, the "information about traffic" you're getting from your radio station is about what little movement there actually is).

To that list, now, also, add this.

Your favorite song or songs. And it doesn't matter whether you're gaga over Gaga or a true Belieber or you're filled with a messa good ol' down home lovin' for Miranda Lambert.  Pick a format, any format, pick a song, any song.

Conventional radio, terrestrial radio as it is referred to more often by industry insiders, was, for a very, very, very long time not only your first, best, most dependable place to get the aforementioned news, weather, sports, traffic and/or favorite happening hits from your favorite happening hitmaker, it was, to some degree, the only place.

To paraphrase that oldie but goodie by Mr. Ray Charles, those days are gone, Jack.

And they ain't coming back no more, no more, no more, no more.

Enter the smartphone. And the IPad. And even that now almost grandfather figure in the whole technological scheme of things...the personal computer, lap top or desktop, it's all good.

Every bit, batch and/or bunch of information and/or entertainment that you once relied on radio to provide you, either from the counter of your kitchen or the corner of your desk, from the nightstand by the bed or, more and most commonly, the dashboard of your car is now available to you from that IPad and that PC and, more often and most commonly, that essential to your being able to function in life device that measures an average of two and half inches by five inches, found, more often than not, right there in the palm of your hand.

That apple of your eye.

Or Android, as the case may be.

And with the advent of that instantly ubiquitous accessory/appliance, the radio business was a whole new game with a new kid in town giving a whole new meaning to the term "don't touch that dial."

Suits and bean counter, meanwhile, reacted to a changing marketplace and a changing supply/demand ratio in the customary knee jerk fashion for which suits and bean counter are known.

Trim costs, cut expenses, find a way to do without that which was, at least in bean counter theory, do withoutable.But, no matter what, trim costs, cut expenses.

Given, of course, that upper mid-level and upper management in any business paradigm is always the first to enjoy the benefits of up times and the last to endure the sacrifice needed in down times, the first, most obvious, go-to when it came to "gotta go"s was that tried and true, oldie but goodie source of slash and burn with a capital B and that rhymes with P and that stands for....

...personnel.

And in the world of conventional radio, the personnel most always pushed out when there was out to be pushed was, and is, those whose occupation is second only to bomb squad officers when it comes to risk of abrupt career conclusion.

On air talent.

And, props to Keyser Soze, when it came to favorite midday guy or much loved afternoon drive time  gal, just like that...they were gone.

Kinda.

You see, technology had not only gifted mankind with the smartphone that took its place with fingers and toes as critically necessary appendages to the human frame, it has created a means of bringing all you cats and kitties out there that favorite midday voice or that much loved afternoon drive time chatter without burdening the suits and bean counters with that pesky need for an annual contracted salary.

Enter "voice tracking."

Resisting the temptation to glamorize the function with a lot of five and ten dollar broadcasting terms, here's an easy to read and remember definition.

It's the pre-recording of those scant, few moments between songs and/or commercials and/or other daily programming by the "talent", "on the air", at least in spirit, if not in person, at the time.

While that "talent", at the moment you're hearing their voice, is most likely part of the way through their daily shift at whatever full time job they have been able to find to take the place of the full time job they once had in radio before voice tracking came along.

Thanks to voice tracking, radio station owners could create and offer listeners the illusion of real, live, local, clever and connected on air talent who had once been compensated for the tunes they offered up to the tune of five, even sometimes six, figures per year now for the low, low price of just minimum wage per hour.

But, wait! There's more!

The illusion, when you're listening to your favorite talent on your favorite station, is that they are "there with you" from, say 10A to 2P.  One of the backstage/behind the scenes tricks of the trade is that, in reality, you're only hearing, or "hearing", that talent for a few short minutes in each of those four hours. With the exception of morning shows that have managed, for the most part, to avoid the slash and edit knife of the efficiency experts,  the average music radio station broadcast hour goes shakes out pretty much like this:

Top of the hour....five to six minutes of news
Song
Talent talks....these day, mostly just what we call "that was/this is", as in "that was The Rolling Stones...and this is The Beatles on WXYZ"
Song
Commercial break...as a rule, up to five minutes long
Song
Talent talks, another that was/this is.
Song.
Bottom of the hour..three or four minutes of news
Another commercial break
Lather, rinse and repeat the first half of the hour structure.

When you add up the total time you actually heard the voice of the "on air" talent, we're actually talking (no pun intended) no more than eight to ten minutes, max, out of each broadcast hour.
And with each passing day, month and year, the suits and bean counters put the full court press on the talent to shave what they can from their already minimal time on mic.

So, now, imagine how long it takes a relatively capable broadcaster to pre-record eight to ten minutes.

Uh, how about eight to ten minutes?

And let's have some more fun with math.

Eight to ten minutes per hour. A four hours show.
Four time ten equals....
Forty.
Very good.
Forty minutes and an entire day's midday show, for example, is "in the can".

All for the low, low price of minimum wage per hour.

Just like in politics, the Federal government and needing to buy an even bigger flatscreen, the rationalization and justifications fly like Blue Angels over state fairgrounds on a summer day.

Cost effective.

Outstanding return on investment.

Besides, "The music is the star" ...... the latest bumper sticker to be plastered in front of the sight line of every one who even gets to crack a mic to speak in the first place.

Uh, yeah. Right.

Here's why that particular radio dial dog just don't hunt.

It's that Lloyd Price, IPhone, Ipad thing I mentioned earlier.

Conventional radio, for a long, long time, knew, took comfort in and, understandably took advantage of knowing that, you needed it.

For your news, for your weather, for your sports, for your favorite song from your favorite singer.

And, for a lot of people, for the wit, whimsy, fun and frivolity of your favorite midday guy or much loved afternoon drive time gal.

Thanks to your smartphone and Ipad and Iphone, you no longer need radio for the news or the weather or the sports or your favorite song.

In fact, if you stop to think about it for just, say the time it takes to say, "that was/this is", you realize that anybody with any savvy at all when it comes to attracting and keeping listeners listening and advertisers advertising would know that there's only one thing that conventional radio can offer than all those accessory/appliance appendages cannot offer.

Personality.

As in the personal and engaging and live and local and clever and connected and entertaining personality of the on air talent.

Or as they are also known....the on air "personality".

But, alas, there's just not a lot of personality to be heard on conventional radio these days.

Turns out the suits and bean counters were convinced that was a very savvy way to slash and burn that pesky cost of doing business.

Personality.

That which is to radio like chicken is to KFC.

And conventional radio is buying less and less chicken every single day.

You may have heard about the continued cutbacks in on air talent on radio stations across the nation.

Like, for example, just this week, yet another major staff reduction at a well known broadcasting corporation.

IHeart Media.

Who just happen to own 850 radio stations across the country.

That may not make it to the end of the year.

Thor Heyerdahl was a fairly complex individual.

With a pretty fundamental grasp on simplicity.

"..Progress," the noted explorer, archaeologist and writer might observe today, "...is broadcasting managment's ability to complicate simplicity."

Personality.

Simple enough.