Two debates (at this writing) down.
Ten debates (at this writing) to go.
Plenty of issues in the old issue box to dissect, debate and discuss.
And only 486 days (at this writing) left until America has a very important decision to make.
A decision that is going to, ultimately, be decided on the basis of one factor.
Actually, not so much a factor, per se', as...a quality.
Integrity? Compassion? Empathy? Humility? Honesty?
Hey, hi, we're America. Have we met?
If any of those qualities really mattered a hoot in hell, it's a put all your money on, and get ready to win big, bet that Donald Trump would never have gotten past the first couple of primaries in 2016.
Integrity, compassion, empathy, humility, even honesty are, let's just save ourselves some time and plain talk with each other, qualities that pretty much everybody says they look for in someone when it comes time to cast a ballot, but, when the chips are down and that little curtain behind them closes on Election Day......
...again, I would refer you to the first couple of primaries in 2016.
Not to mention the Electoral College vote tally on Election Night that November.
As far as actual issues are concerned?
Well, like finger foods on a buffet table, there are always plenty to choose from, assuming that it's one of those buffet tables where time and effort have been put in to put out a nice spread, but, people, being voters, and voters, being people, tend to disregard pretty much everything on that buffet table with the exception of the one, maybe two, usually three max, noshes that tickle their particular taste buds.
It's all very noble to believe that the average voter takes time to study and determine how their lives, and the lives of their friends, loved ones and (the always heart stirring) "fellow Americans" are going to be affected by race, education, healthcare, the economy, employment, or lack thereof, immigration, climate change, guns, crime, terrorism, income inequality, affordable energy, drug use and/or treatment, homelessness, Social Security, Medicare, the environment.........
...all very noble to believe all those issues matter to that average voter.....but all very naive', as well.
Because, to put it in a succinct, easy to digest, sound byte qualified phrase, as to how much each and all of those issues matter to people.....
They don't.
Oh, all of them are on the buffet table and available for tasting and testing, but the hard core truth of the matter is that, allowing, of course, that there are always exceptions to every rule, the average American voter is very much not a nibble, taste and test type.
Mostly, the average American voter zeroes right in on the pigs in a blanket and loads up.
As to our metaphorical buffet here, which pig and which blanket, again, depends entirely on the particular hunger of the particular voter.
Out of work and pretty pissed about it? Well, unemployment is going to certainly be on your radar.
Gainfully employed but recently burgled? Yeah, yeah, poor people without jobs, too bad, so sad, blah, blah, yada, yada, what's going to be done about crime in the streets, huh?
Good job, blessed to have not been burgled or mugged but convinced that it's only a matter of time before some pillaging, raving, raping brown skin comes kicking down your door to rave, ravage and rape?
Build. That. Wall.
Same principle holds fast, steady and true no matter what one's particular need, desire and/or demand. Because just like men and/or women who convince themselves that Speedo is really the wisest choice for summer beach attire, Americans, in large numbers, are in the habit of convincing themselves that , being bona fide residents of the land of the free and home of the brave they are totally, even automatically, down with equality and compassion and tolerance and, of course, from sea to shining sea, crowning each other's good with brotherhood..... truth....justice...you know....the American way.
When, in fact, it comes to truth? Here's the truth.
The issues that matter to them...are the issues that matter to....them.
Historically, if only theoretically, the choice made in the voting booth was made by taking a number of factors into consideration.
That was then.
In the now, the number of factors has been boiled down to one.
Which candidate is offering up those pigs in a blanket.
Good for my neighbors? Yeah, well, maybe. Good for my friends? Sure, okay, whatever.
Good for my country?
Look, man, that kind of analysis and perspective is way above my pay grade. All I know is that my guy or gal is promising to keep me in pigs in blankets till the cows come home.
Not to mix the barnyard metaphor.
There's actually a slang term for this, now, apparently essential factor.
It's relatively new in the process. Although historians could probably furnish us with some kind of evidence that even Washington or Jefferson had their own groupies, posses' and/or "guys", more contemporary scholars would probably date the current phenomenon back to circa 1960.
Arguably, the first "rock star" election. Resulting in, arguably, the first "rock star" President.
Fast forward twenty years and, bada bing, the broadening of the definition of "rock star" to include the less flashy, but no less glossy, "celebrity" status.
Ronald Reagan was no Jack Kennedy, but, hey, he had known Marilyn Monroe personally, too, ya dig?
From there, the rock star gene found its way into the American DNA more than once on Election Day.
Bill Clinton.
Barack Obama.
Yeah, obviously, both Bushes were left off the list here. But, first, no one could ever really say the words "rock star" and "George Bush (either H.W. or just W without the H)" without evoking snide laughter and a well deserved chorus of WTF's.
Second, since bashing the "Hollywood elite" is a copyrighted page in the Republican playbook, when it comes to claiming a place at the cool kids table, the GOP can just step off.
This factor, meanwhile, is not to be dismissed nor taken lightly.
Because 2016 took us to Celeb Con One when it came time to choose somebody to faithfully execute the office of.
(Given Trump's bad hair day hustler back story, the combo of Celeb and Con there is screaming for a whole commentary, but I'm gonna file that one and keep eyes on the prize here).
Here's a prediction you're likely not going to hear anywhere else.
The "star wattage" of election 2020 is going to play a major part in the outcome.
Because America 2020 is a celebrity fueled culture.
And America 2020... is a fast food culture.
America wants it hot and fresh and fast....and convenient.
Whether it's good for them...or not.
And how they feel about the issues of our time, what they think about the policies and programs that might not only directly affect the now but possibly have dramatic consequences for generations to come takes a way in the back back seat to the factor.
The X factor.
I don't have any stats or data or evidence, empirical or otherwise, to validate my theory here. But, statistical, empirically evidentiary data kinda flies in the face of the theory in the first place.
The voter who has mined coal for forty years and comes from a family that has mined coal for ten generations doesn't give a rat's ass about facts and figures.
And is guaranteed to swiftly and brutally turn a deaf ear to any evidence of any kind that the days of coal are, if not completely over, then certainly in the nine to ten range.
As in "ten....nine....eight...."
They hear a sales pitch that includes the phrase "going to get you your coal job back" and they buy that pitch like shipping was free and included a free My Pillow with every purchase.
Jobs in the coal industry, in this example, being that particular voter's pig in a blanket.
Yum. Yeah. Hot damn, now you're talkin'.
Truth be told, there's nothing particularly new about this method of electioneering. Voters have been buying pigs in a blanket since the dawn of both time and the ballot box.
Nothing about the process has changed all that much from its original edition.
You have a vote. I want it. I promise you something you want and you give me your vote in return.
The problem with the system, of course, has been, is now, and ever shall be that the vote isn't given in return for the product....or service....or good job with good pay and benefits.
Or. That. Wall.
The problem is that the vote is given in return for the promise.
I'll gladly serve you up that pig in a blanket next week or next year....for your vote today.
What's changed, and dramatically so, is the aforementioned X factor, again, relatively new to the process.
The pitch now is not necessarily being made by a garden variety, standard issue "politician" where it's almost considered standard operating procedure for them to promise you whatever it is you need to hear and you basically pull the arm down on the slot machine and say a quick prayer that three little cherries will show up in those three little windows.
Or three little pigs in a blanket if cherries don't do it for you.
The pitch is being made by celebrities.
To an America that is a celebrity fueled culture.
Celebrity. Noun. A famous person. The state of being well known.
There are about twenty five synonyms available in the particular definition that I looked up just now for the word celebrity and nowhere to be found were there any that came even remotely close to......
...experienced.
Visionary.
Compassionate.
Educated.
Erudite.
Inspiring.
Noble.
Well suited.
Qualified.
This explains a lot about what happened in 1992 and 1996.....and 2008 and 2012.......
But it totally explains what happened in 2016.
As a number of Americans sufficient enough to put the popular vote machinery into TILT mode put a celebrity in the Oval Office.
A celebrity without experience, vision, compassion, education, erudition, inspiration, nobility.....or qualification.
But a celebrity whose entire public persona was built on a foundation of masterful salesmanship.
A celebrity who doesn't know that there's no such Bible book as Two Corinthians, that Frederick Douglass has been dead a long, long time.
That, as near as most reputable historians can determine, there were no airports during the Revolutionary War.
None of that matters in 2019 America.
Because, even after all we've seen and know about him that we suspected but hadn't yet seen and didn't yet know three years ago, his celebrity is intact.
And be it coal jobs or limitless guns or no more pesky rules about polluting the air and water or putting an end to that annoying stream of raving, raging, raping brown skins, each and every one of those is, surely, somebody's pig in a blanket.
Yum. Yeah. Hot damn, now you're talkin'.
Celebrity is going to play a major part in the outcome of the election in America 2020.
Especially an America so infatuated, and influenced, by celebrity that it is easily impressed by just the right pig in a blanket.
Even if it's nothing more than a celebrity peddling pigs in a blanket.
Or pigs in a poke.
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