And, now, a word about guns.
Stop.
Before, though, you either vigorously nod your head and raise your fist in passionate agreement or passionately shake you head and raise your fist so as to give us a clear view of your oft mentioned cold, someday dead, fingers, hear me out regarding that word about guns.
Stop.
Let's stop arguing with each other. Let's stop smacking the same worn out birdie of bang bang bang back and forth at each other across the net that serves as the metaphorical line between laying down arms and locking and loading. Let's stop lowering our standards while raising our voices and screaming at each other, determined to yell louder and be heard more clearly and finally change your mind before you change my mind, let's just make up our minds to once and for all and forever.....
Stop.
Stop discussing.
Stop debating.
Stop debasing.
Stop denigrating.
Just.
Stop.
If you are one of those seeking workable solutions to the epidemic of gun violence and death in this country, stop blasting away at those who oppose you.
Hmm. Blasting away.
Remarkable how many gun metaphors seem to fit so easily and readily into our every day vocabulary, isn't it.
If, on the other hand, you are one of those who are determined to be unmoved, unswayed and/or unwilling to hear any other point of view, opinion, perspective, possibility or plot that plays out with any other language but the hallowed, traditional collection of words that make up the 2nd Amendment of the Constitution of the United States, then stop firing back at those who oppose you.
Hmmm. Firing back.
Okay.
Back to the point.
And the word.
Stop.
Meanwhile, the remainder of this sharing is directed at those who all into the aforementioned unmoved, unswayed, unwilling to hear any other point of view, opinion, perspective, possibility or plot that plays out with any other language but the hallowed, traditional collection of words that make up the 2nd Amendment of the Constitution of the United States
And before you get all defensive, feeling put upon and persecuted, be aware that I'm in your corner.
In a manner of speaking, to a point, with one condition.
Turns out that I'm not the only one who is prepared to advocate on your behalf. Australian humorist Jim Jeffries is right here with me, behind you.
In a manner of speaking, to a point, with one condition.
"..... I am all for your Second Amendment rights. I think you should be able to have guns. It’s in your constitution. What I am not for is bullshit arguments and lies. There is one argument and one argument alone for having a gun, and this is the argument… “Fuck off. I like guns.” It’s not the best argument, but it’s all you’ve got. And there’s nothing wrong with it. There’s nothing wrong with saying, “I like something. Don’t take it away from me.” But don’t give me this other bullshit...."
The complete piece Jeffries wrote and performs is readily available on line, just Google him and/or Australia gun routine. If you're the workable solution seeker type, you owe it to yourself to give it a listen. It's thoughtful, insightful and very funny.
And if you're one of the unmoved and unswayed, you owe it to yourself to give it a listen. Because it's thoughtful, insightful and very funny.
Not that that matters a hoot in hell to you because chances are you're not all that inclined to see any humor, let alone the humor, in anything having to do with your right to bear arms.
So, let's just say that you owe it to me...and folks like me....to give it a listen, pay close attention to what Jeffries says and be ready to offer a little something to me and mine in return for our support of your continued "right" to own whatever you want, as many as you want, whenever you want, anytime you want, to do with as you damn well please.
And that little something.....is to stop.
Stop trying to make unlimited ownership of, and access to, any and all guns at any and all times, out to be something patriotic, along the lines of that being given liberty or being death chestnut.
Because there's nothing at all patriotic about the level of infantile selfishness that's involved when someone's sole thought is that, come hell or high water, they will be allowed to own whatever they want whenever they want. Even if children are being murdered in cold blood in their classrooms and school hallways.
Stop trying to come off like some kind of Constitutional expert, offering your irrefutable interpretation of what the framers of that document precisely intended when they worded the 2nd Amendment. There are, literally, tens of thousands of actual, highly educated, credentialed scholars, officially certified to offer expert opinion on the matter and even they cannot come to enough of a consensus to settle the matter once and for all. That leaves you and your bumper sticker/red cap authorized membership leaving a lot, oh, hell, leaving everything, to be desired when it comes to mouthing off about it.
Stop saying really stupid things like "for protection" or "for hunting" or, even, "just for pleasure and recreation" when it comes to a really lame, not to mention insulting, attempt to justify needing to own weapons whose sole reason for existing is to kill as many people as possible in as little time as necessary.
While we're at it, stop saying "need" and start using the accurate, honest word.
"Want".
You want guns.
You enjoy guns.
You get a kick out of guns.
You get off on guns.
Or as a thoughtful, insightful very funny Australian eloquently expressed it....
"...There’s nothing wrong with saying, “I like something. Don’t take it away from me.”
Yeah. What he said.
Oh...and this....
"...But don’t give me this other bullshit...."
Yeah. What he said, there, too.
We know it's bullshit.
You know it's bullshit.
Just.
Stop.
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