John Lennon said it a long time ago.
And it's as true as true can be all these eons later.
"Jesus was alright", the Beatle proffered, "but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It's them twisting it that ruins it for me."
The annual Emmy Awards took place recently. And along with the predictable half baked attempts at forced witty repartee, mundane and/or meandering acceptance speeches that were allowed to go on far too long, heartfelt, poignant speeches that were inevitably cut short by the orchestra signalling the panic button the director pushes when commercials are in jeopardy and the usual batch of same old, same old award show came, in the clear light of morning, the inevitable arm chair quarterbacking....
...and the conservative right pissing and moaning and whining about the liberal left making fun of the conservative right who are, if you think about it for a second, probably largely taunted because the liberal left knows that the conservative right will piss and moan and whine about it.
Kind of a big brother giving a little sister shit just to get a rise out of her sort of thing.
Saturday Night Live cast members Colin Jost and Michael Che were the hosts (gee, no danger of conservative bashing in choosing those outrageously bi-partisan dudes).
Bill O'Reilly, the once upon a time host of the number one rated show on Fox News until his host/producer skills were simply overtaken by his knack for sexual bullying and general assholishness was Reddy Teddy first thing the morning after with his contribution to the pissing and moaning and whining donation barrel.
"...Another award show, another night of hate in Hollywood. During the opening monologue of the Emmy Awards last night, hosts Colin Jost and Michael Che wasted no time taking swipes at Christian conservatives. Michael Che said his mom would not be watching the show because “She says she doesn't like watching white award shows because you guys don't thank Jesus enough… The only white people that thank Jesus are Republicans and ex-crackheads.”..."
Okay, first, subjectivity notwithstanding, the joke just really wasn't all that funny.
First rule of mocking religion. You must be very funny. Unarguably funny. Beyond any reasonable doubt funny.
Funny AF.
Because religions don't like to be mocked. Religions or, more to the point, the more zealous members of assorted religions don't have a hint of a sense of humor about themselves.
Ask one to define self deprecation and they'll likely offer it's another term for baby filling his diaper.
So, if you're gonna go skippin' down Mockery Lane toward Religious Blvd, you better be damn sure that you can, when they come at you all morally outraged, fresh new stick protruding from the rectal region, at least have one irrefutable defense on which to fall back.
"well....you gotta admit.....it was funny...."
Christian conservatives, actually, these days, particularly Christian conservatives and particularly these days, have no sense of humor whatsoever.
And they really should give serious consideration to lightening it up a little. I cant provide credentials that verify my qualification as a Biblical scholar, but my Spidey sense tells me that it's a good, safe bet that Jesus enjoyed some laughs along the way. If he was, in fact, the human incarnation of God and if, in fact, he was capable of the wisdom, insight, compassion, tenderness and love for mankind that we are told he was, then, it only makes simple common sense that he could take a joke.
At the same time, I've got a feelin' that he wouldn't be doing a lot of laughing today, as least in so far as the behavior of some of his self proclaimed disciples is concerned.
Because, if you'll indulge me the metaphor, Jesus may still be the CEO of one of the most powerful and righteous and beneficial and life affirming organizations in the history of existence.
But his board of directors have wandered off the reservation a little.
A big, ol chunk of his sales staff needs to be shown the door.
And his stockholders?
Well, a lot of them have been doing a considerable amount of bending the by-laws in the last couple of years.
More than one too many times, for my sensibilities, in the last thirty months, or so, I have seen, heard and/or read testimonials, endorsements, celebrations, defenses, rationalizations, justifications and good old garden variety excuses coming from, again, self professed Christians and/or Christian conservatives on behalf of the current government of the United States and, if only because it's his watch, the current president of the United States.
And I gotta tell ya. I'm a pretty smart guy. And yet I'm a little confused. And more than just a little perplexed.
Because what I'm seeing and hearing and reading, in large measure, doesn't come within a camel's chance of getting through the eye of a needle of resembling anything I can reasonably comprehend, let alone endorse, as "a Christian attitude."
So, for those who are qualified to offer expert analysis and Scriptural context to the Trump transgressions I find both most perplexing and most offensive, here's your public forum opportunity to enlighten me, educate me, clarify for me and, essentially, set me straight as to the Christianity on display in the following sampling of comments, incidents or experiences in the last two or so years.
Let's go alphabetical for the sake of organization.
ABC-Washington Post Poll--"disgraceful, very dishonest"....no proof of accusation offered...Bible chapter and verse justifying the accusation, please...____________
Amazon "costing US Postal Service massive amounts of money"....statement proven to be incorrect/a lie...Bible chapter and verse defending the statement, please...__________
American delegate system--"totally rigged, books are cooked, rigged!"...again, no proof or evidence...Biblical reference justifying false accusation, please..._____________
Ruth Bader Ginsburg--"incompetent judge, her mind is shot"...Bible chapter and verse celebrating slander, please..___________________
Ben Carson (now his Secretary of HUD)..."many lies, has never created a job in his life, well, maybe a nurse"...Again, Scripture supporting slander, please.._________________
Ted Cruz (now being endorsed for re-election)..."his father was involved the the killing of John F. Kennedy"...Scripture justifying accusation, please______________
Megyn Kelly..."blood from her eyes or her whatever"..Bible chapter and verse dispensing with respect for women, please ______________
Neo-Nazis and White Supremacists..."some are very fine people"...Scriptural endorsement of hatred, prejudice, bigotry and racism, please..__________________
Puerto Ricans critical of US response to Hurricane Maria..."politically motivated ingrates"...Bible chapter and verse encouraging turning one's back on those in need, please ____
Serge Kovaleski (reporter with congenital disability mocked at rally)....Bible chapter and verse endorsing ridicule and torment of those afflicted, please _______________________
Children being taken away from their parents and kept in animal cages....Scripture, please_________
A nominee for the highest court in the land who, upon being confronted with serious accusations of wrong doing and poor character, opts to whine, cry, accuse, condemn and display a tantrum unbecoming of a five year old, let alone a nominee for the highest court in the land.
Find me anything even remotely excusing that attitude and behavior.
Old or New Testament.
Give it your best shot.
There are a number of Christian "leaders" who read this blog and/or hear this podcast. I am, in fact, personally acquainted with some. With no malice intended and nothing but a willingness to be shown the error of my thought process, here's my request.
Please provide me, via social media or email, the particular Scriptural references I have requested. Upon receipt, I will publish and/or broadcast those clarifications publicly with no editing or revision.
I will assume that no reply of any kind indicates a concession on your part that my original theory is correct.
That the particular brand of "Christianity" being engaged in during this particular time in history is, at best, insincere and, at worst, egregiously antithetical to the teachings of Jesus Christ as documented in the Holy Bible.
Personally, I have a theory. I think the more zealous, determined, even, perhaps fair to say, radical of those who profess the Christian faith but buy the Trump bullshit are, at the heart of it, not following Christ, at all.
They are, if only in their own minds, justifying the means in order to achieve their ends.
The resumption of a ban on abortion. A "cleansing" of the racial composition of the American population. A specific intent to either return, or simply turn, America into some romanticized vision of what they want to remember as the "good old days"....translation: 1850.
And very few of these folks are blind to the horrific way Trump conducts himself, let alone the presidency, but that doesn't matter. If he's what it takes to get them back to the 19th Century, then, as the kids say, whatevs.
The thing is, though that that's not any thing even resembling the teachings of Jesus.
Your real hero, there, Christian soldiers is......wait for it, you're gonna love this....Malcolm X.
And this paraphrase of his mindset.
"...we declare our rights.....which we intend to bring into existence by 'any means necessary'.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce to you the radical right Christian conservatives and the symbol of their hopes, their dreams, their plans, their schemes.....Donald J. Trump.
Or as he's known from this writing on....
...Mr. Any Means Necessary.
That's the problem with disciples.
The reasonable, informed, educated authentic ones stay true to the tenets and teachings of their mentor.
And, then, there's your thick and ordinary.
Who twist it all up.
And ruin it for the rest of us.
Among the many iconic scenes in the classic movie "Casablanca", there's one lesser remembered that comes to mind at the moment.
Ilsa (Ingrid Bergman), in her tearful panic to get Rick (Humphrey Bogart) to give her the letters of transit that will enable her to assist husband Victor Laszlo to escape the Nazis, reminds Rick of better days.
- Ilsa: Richard, we loved each other once. If those days meant anything at all to you...
- Rick: I wouldn't bring up Paris if I were you..... It's poor salesmanship.
Many of today's "Christian conservatives", no doubt, continue their campaign to bring others into the fold.
Some, if not all, include, in their pitch, their excitement at having Donald Trump in the White House.
Cue Bogie.
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