No one has ever accused me of being a man of few words.
But my affection for, and admittedly sizable use of, the English language shouldn't be mistaken for an inability to shoot fast, straight and succinctly.
Like now.
Donald Trump does it wrong. Pretty much every day. Pretty much all the time.
And if you still support him, you have less than a clue than he does about the way America really works.
Bang bang. Shoot shoot.
Trump unveiled a farm bill yesterday. The tweet announcing it read as follows.
"Farm bill signing in 15 minutes, #Emmys. #TBT"
The Emmys and TBT hashtags refer to, first, an Emmy Awards broadcast from 2005 in which Donald appeared and TBT, for all you parents still struggling with LOL and ROFLMAO, stands for Throw Back Thursday.
Donald was, any first year psych student would tell ya, having a little fun.
Here's the real fun. Included in the tweet was a video of that Emmys appearance in which he sang, in duet with comic actor Megan Mullally, the theme song from the 1960's sit com, "Green Acres".
Mullally looked as uncomfortable as any reasonable person would imagine.
Trump looked like an idiot.
Which is okay, given the context of the time and his place in it.
Showing off, in one idiot fashion or another, was, besides stiffing contractors and treating people below his considerable pay grade like shit, pretty much what Donald was all about at the time.
Until a couple of years ago, of course.
Including the village idiot video in the "presidential" tweet announcing a farm bill was, again, clearly another attempt by Donald to show how clever, playful, in short, what a fun, creative genius he is.
While making it obvious to, again, any first year psych student that he fancies himself both a clever, playful, creative genius....and just plain folks.
You know. Like that other bunch of just plain folks we hear tell of 'round these here parts.
The base.
The very same base that is, as we speak, zealously defending their head Mouseketeer with some form of snark or another, almost certainly including the words "libtard", "snoflake", DemoRats". You know. Oft heard words from their, by now, very dog eared copy of Thesaurus For Dummies."
And here's numero uno on their go-to list of reasons why libtard, snoflake, DemoRats need to get off "our president's" ass.
Lighten up. It's just a joke. He's just having fun. What's the matter with you libtard, snoflake, DemoRats. Can't you even take a joke? Can't you see he's just plain folks?
Can't you just see that he's one of us?
And that's why we love him so much????
First, actually, yes. I can take a joke. I have a wonderful sense of humor. And, here's something that pretty much disqualifies me from any possible membership in "the base", if'n, you know, I should ever completely lose my mind and apply for membership in the base.
I'm capable of, and have been known to, quite often, laugh at myself.
Second, and I know this will chap your cheeks, but, no, actually he's not plain folks and he's not one of you.
But, before you cough up another "oh, yes, he is" hairball that will try to suck me into yet another round of "oh, no, he's not / oh, yes, he is / oh, no, he's not", let's come at this from a fresh new direction.
Pretend I agree with you.
He's just plain folks.
He's one of us.
Just an average Joe from an average house in an average neighborhood in an average town across this great land of ours, from sea to shining sea.
With an average education and average ambition and average abilities.
Here's the problem.
I don't want one of us to be President of the United States.
And you shouldn't want one of us to be President of the United States, either.
Recently, while guest hosting on talk radio, a caller who was a little unhappy with me asked "when are you on the left going to stop telling us on the right what we ought to think about things?"
I deflected only because the question was an endless loop of "oh, no, you're not / oh, yes, I am / oh, no, you're not" just waiting to happen and I was only sitting in for three hours and wasn't in the mood to play bullshit badminton.
But right here, right now, here's the answer that occurs to me.
I honestly don't know when that's going to happen.
What I do know is that it's not going to happen today.
Because, bet the farm, baby, I meant,. like a rock, what I said a minute or so ago.
I don't want one of us to be President of the United States.
And you shouldn't want one of us to be President of the United States, either.
I want someone smarter than us to be President of the United States. And you should, too.
I want someone kinder than us to be President of the United States. And you should, too.
I want someone tougher than us, but fair and caring and compassionate and capable of seeing the smallest detail of the big picture while mastering the overview of the whole big picture all at the same time. And so should you.
I want someone more hard working than us. Someone who spends very little time on the golf course or watching hour after hour of morning news shows because they're busy listening to smarter, more experienced voices in meetings to determine the most effective way to make America great. Someone who spends hours reading materials, briefing books, critical analytics provided by educated, expert minds who possess the knowledge that can lift a society and the willingness to share that knowledge with he who makes the ultimate life affecting decisions.
I want someone who inspires us to be better than we are. Not someone who incites us to play bullshit badminton against each other.
I want someone who recognizes and admits to their own demons but remains steadfast and determined to call on our better angels.
I want someone who doesn't change their mind about shutting down an entire national government because Fox and Friends called him out for actually considering a compromise.
That's the kind of thing that an average mind is inclined to do.
The vast, monumentally vast majority of people who breathe, eat, sleep, work, pray, love, walk, talk and just try to go about the business of making life better for themselves and their loved ones in this country are average.
Just plain folks.
Think of five people in your life who you would, if being bluntly honest, describe as average.
Now tell me which one of those people you would like to see elected to a position that will directly impact your life and the lives of those you love for generations to come.
Yeah.
Me, neither.
He's not smarter. He's not kinder. He's not really tougher and he's unarguably not fair, caring, compassionate.
Couldn't see the big picture is it was on a 100 inch flat screen with a Fox News logo in the background, doesn't know a briefing book or critical analysis from a golf scorecard, and couldn't care less.
Listens to no one, takes no advice, accepts no counsel. Inspires nothing in anyone. Incites conflict in everyone.
Truly believes he has no demons, let alone deal with any and wouldn't know a better angel if it flew down and blocked the view of his flat screen with the Fox News logo in the background.
He's not just plain folks.
And he's not one of us.
But even if he was.
I don't want one of us to be President of the United States.
And neither should you.
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