Funny, if arguably obscure, line from a Paul McCartney song, circa the album Abbey Road.
"So I quit the police department / and got myself a steady job..."
Admittedly, that little bit of tongue in cheek didn't register, at the time, even a blip on the pop music scandal-o-meter, as opposed to its lyrical cousin "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" and its, to this day, wink, wink, nudge, nudge belief among so many of the lysergic acid diethylamide enthusiasts in our midst that the title, and song, were code for enjoying the pleasures of, well, lysergic acid diethylamide.
And, of course, coming not even close to that hosanna, heysanna moment in 1966 when John Lennon found himself on the business end of the non-secular symbolic six-shooters of those immortalized in the classic karaoke favorite, Onward Christian Soldiers for his alleged assertion that Jesus Christ, himself, ran a close but no cigar second in popularity to none other than....wait for it....The Beatles. And their blasphemous poet/hit maker/heretic, John Lennon.
Of course, this was a few years before Jesus was promoted to Superstar status within the hip and groovy culture, but Lennon's impudent anti-idolatry was a long time in being forgotten.
Never mind, by the way, that what Lennon said in the interview that stirred the
sectarian shit pot in the first place was nothing more than an honest evaluation, in the day, of the fact that more people, many, many, many more people would rather buy records and attend concerts by four cheeky, rock and roll lads from Liverpool than fill the pews on Sunday.
But that's an hypocrisy for a different dissertation. Besides, John Lennon lived his entire professional life refining and re-defining the concept of balloon popping provocateur.
Think Donald Trump. And add charm, class, grace, courtesy, compassion, you know....human qualities.
Oh. And intelligence. John Lennon was a very intelligent, cheeky rock and roll lad from Liverpool.
And Donald Trump....well, I grew up listening to John Lennon, I emulated John Lennon, I felt, at time, like John Lennon was a friend.
Donald, you're no John Lennon.
You are, though , not even close to coincidentally, wearily inevitably these days, the focal point of today's observations.
And Paul McCartney's little megabyte of a giggle is merely the opening act.
Stick around for the headliner. More to the point, the headline.
That lyrical lark I went off on, offering up a little McCartney wit from the song "She Came In Through The Bathroom Window" was inspired by the latest asking of a question I have been asked more than once, lately, given the way things have been, a lot.
"...why don't you run for office?"
Well, first, thanks for writing in. And I'm going to resist the flip, satirical, even sometimes sarcastic replies that have been known to pop out of my piehole from time to time and just give a quick, couple of reasons why answer to the question.
First, I don't have anything near resembling the required temperament. Dismissing the ridiculous babble that's been being babbled for the last three years or so, that what this country needs is a president who's not a politician, I'm simply not temperamentally suited to be a politician. Because, as I've offered here before, a politician, by the nature of the game, has to be, if not all things to all people, then, at least as many things as possible to as many people as possible.
And I'm simply not hardwired to power up that selling job. And not just because being as many things as possible to as many people as possible requires, at some point or points along the way, telling lies. I can lie with the best of em'.
Ironically, this particular wall around the ring where I might be inclined to toss my hat has more to do with telling the truth.
And don't confuse "telling the truth" with that "telling it like it is" bullshit that Trump and his clown car companions have been successfully shoveling for the last few years.
"Telling it like it is" is just Trumpian code for "telling people what they want to hear." If any one of them accidentally stumbles into telling a truth here or there, well....broken clock and all that.
I'm talking about truth. Like instead of telling a state fair exhibition hall full of screaming idiots that I'm going to personally see to it that a big, bad barrier of 1,954 miles long gets erected before end of business and then, I'll get another sovereign nation to just write a check for the confinement, I'm more inclined to say things like......
"I know you're afraid of drug dealers...and I know you want your streets and neighborhoods and towns and cities to be safer....and I also know that some of you out there are even willing to sign on for anything that will keep those coloreds out of your towns and cities once and for all. And that's pretty much pick a color, any color. But I'm gonna kill your buzz and bum you out. There isn't going to be any wall because it's not a practical solution to a legitimate problem. It's a placebo, folks. For those of you who get all your worldly wisdom from Fox News, a placebo is "a measure designed merely to calm or please someone". And before you go all rant and rave outraged on me, let me ask you a question. Don't you think that a nation that put men on the moon and brought them safely back to the Earth FIFTY FUCKING YEARS AGO has the capabilities, FIFTY FUCKING YEARS LATER, to deal with that problem effectively and efficiently without wasting time, money, energy and did I mention money on building a big, bad barrier, 1,954 miles long that YOU, not Mexico, not New Mexico, not anything or anyone that even has the world Mexico in it anywhere, no, YOU are going to pay for?....But you don't hear me do you? Because you hear "wall' as if your grandmama had cancer and I suddenly said "cure". Of course, the cure is a big, bad barrier, 1,954 miles long around your grandmama and any fool with 50% of their wits about them knows that's not going to accomplish jack shit when it comes to keeping grandmama alive, but you didn't hear any of THAT I just said did you? All you heard...and hear...is "cure".
Build that cure. Build that cure.
I suspect it will be awhile before anyone else asks me why I don't run for office.
Indulge me one more quick example of truth that has no place in the race.
That headline I mentioned earlier. This one from an online news article analyzing the already begun presidential campaign of 2020.
"Donald Trump's plan for 2020 Democrats: Cause Chaos and Sow Division"
And now, inconvenient or otherwise, some truth:
First, won't speak for you and Lord knows I 'fess to being a little windy , word wise from time to time, but even I recognize a headline in serious need of a red pencil. Let me take a whack at it:
Donald Trump's 2020 Plan: Divide and Conquer." There you go.
Second, duhhh.
Third, if you're a Trump supporter and,like a kid at 4AM on Christmas morning, you just can't wait until you can get back into that voting booth and press that magic button that reads: Four More Years Of The Chance That We Will Really Get Rid Of Those Colors Once And For All", here's a few things worth mention. I'd have said a few things worth considering, but, shu-yeah, we both know that's not gonna happen, right?
Donald is going to mock, denigrate, bully, slander, libel and say things we never heard in the Bible for, among many other reasons, one primary reason. It worked for him last time. And, as my country music friends and family wisely advise, you "dance with the one that brung ya".
Here's some more of that truth:
Still known and accepted that he never really wanted the gig in the first place, didn't honestly expect to win and when he did was afflicted with a bad case of be careful what you run for....an affliction that has lingered, to one extent or another, to this very day. And all the days to come before he becomes the first president in history to have a library with huge gaudy, neon lit letters spelling out his name tacked up over the palace meets church meets circus tent main entrance.
But he did win. And now that he has won, they'll have to pry those M&M's with the Presidential Seal from his cold, dead fingers before he'll either be arrested and/or dragged out of there kicking and screaming.
And not just because he's a sociopathic narcissist incapable of respecting, let alone serving, any one, or any nation, other than himself and his world.
There's a practical method or two to his madness.
As long as "Hail To The Chief" is his sitcom theme song, he is "insulated" to a point from any of the indictments, trials, convictions, imprisonments, hangings (we don't actually do that anymore, but it was fun to throw that in) that are awaiting the civilian Donald Trump like Moses waiting for just the exactly perfect moment to un-part the Red Sea and send ol' Rameses on a permanent sea cruise.
It's really nothing more than the 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue spin on "hiding in plain sight."
Add to that the mathematical reality that if he is re-elected, he will be almost 80 years old by the time his incarcera....sorry, make that second term comes to an end. And, again, if he can stay out of jail until 80, chances are good that the Happy Meals will finally spare him any imprisonment indignity before he does the best, the very best, terrific, just terrific job of shuffling off the mortal coil.
Not to mention, of course, the shit pile of money he and the rest of the Corelones are raking in, piling up and stashing away while the sands go through the Oval Office hourglass.....
Such are the days of our lives.
I totally understand that what I'm offering here is, either, falling on deaf ears or preaching to the choir.
I'm also experienced enough to know that offering all of this falls way, way outside the pages of the playbook one must utilize to successfully run for office in this country.
Because, in order to win office, in a room filled with ten people, I have to say whatever is necessary to say that will win a minimum of six people over to my side.
Given the diverse, eclectic, always entertaining variety of personalities and points of view in any group of human beings, here's the final, irrefutable truth.....
Winning requires lying.
And while I don't, for a second, have any illusions about my many failings, there are certain lies I simply will never tell.
Like "I see where you're coming from....and I promise you I'm going to make that happen....whether it's 1,954 miles long.....or just around your grandmama...."
One last props to Sir Paul....
"so I gave up any political aspirations / and got myself an honest job..."
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